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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045429">Thoughts, Questioning and Memories</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlshipper01/pseuds/fangirlshipper01'>fangirlshipper01</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne &amp; Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>5+1 Things, Anemoia, Family Angst, Reflection on parenting, sorta angst?</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:06:59</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,793</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30045429</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirlshipper01/pseuds/fangirlshipper01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“𝘛𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘭𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘴 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯. 𝘖𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘙𝘰𝘰𝘵𝘴. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘪𝘴 𝘞𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴”</p><p>- 𝘏𝘰𝘥𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘑𝘳</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Thoughts, Questioning and Memories</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Ginny and Harry reflect back on the past and get emotional. People never said that parenting was fun, but they also never said that letting a child go into the world on their own was like ripping a piece of your soul from you.</p><p>OR </p><p>5 times when Ginny and Harry were unsure about their parenting and the one time when they weren’t.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was a bright serene morning at The Burrow, sunlight streaming through the kitchen windows as bits of dust travelled in and out of the light. The kitchen was bare and clear signs of neglected usage yet it looked worn and old with age as tiles had been chipped on the wall and stubborn food stains from failed cooking experiences with the kids, that still remained on the wooden counters along with long forgotten knife cuts that had been dented into the countertops. The sink was covered in limescale marks yet it was empty and desolate of dishes.</p><p> In the middle of the kitchen was a large oak kitchen table with six matching chairs all with their unique quirks. The one at the head of the table was still in pristine condition apart from the faded brown coloured chair handles indicating years of rested strong arms, after a long hard day of working at the Ministry. It matches the outside facade of a “pristine personality” yet worn away after almost three decades of use. The chair on the left had mud print stains all over it from a rough Quidditch practice and stray bits of red hair coloured golden from the sunlight lead astray by the pots and pans hanging over the windows. It matches the bright and energetic personality of its user. Across of it sat a chair covered with all kinds of marks of their uncles prank objects and toys that was forbidden yet used not the most discreetly and resulted in scars and bruises much like on the child (now adult) that had engaged in those activities. Now what was unusual was that chair to the left was smaller and had sharp teething marks from a black Labrador puppy to large paw marks from a full grown dog that had long since passed. If you smelt the chair (trying to reminisce of the days where the dog was still alive not to be creepy or anything mind you) the distinct smell of wet dog was still there from long walks in the wet grass. Across from the dog chair was a chair with burn marks all over the wood of failed attempts to get a dragon trained from their Uncle Charlie, to eat neatly and astray. It was a miracle that it hadn’t crumbled from the fragile looking state it was, you could easily see a 180 pound woman drop onto it with the grace of a fish above water- contradicting the fiery and impatient spirit of its sitter that it accompanies. And finally at the very end of the table was the last chair, shrouded in the shadows, depicting the shy, withdrawnness of the middle child. This chair had splinters pulling coming of it after a nervous picking habit from long nights at dinner and arguments. </p><p>Across it stood a large old brick fireplace littered with moving pictures of weddings, childhood memories and graduations. Some were family and some were not, yet each exhibited an important part of the family’s lives. The plinth was scattered with Floo powder, that had not been cleaned up for Merlin knows how long.  </p><p>A bright green light filled the room, shaking the empty Floo pot and out stepped Harry Potter. Weary with age, silver hairs covered his head like ivy on a stone wall. His round glasses were the only thing that remained the same along with the bright green eyes. Deep lines carved into his face from years of smiling and hard frowns, yet at this moment he just looked sad. </p><p>All three children gone. </p><p>Moved in with boyfriends and girlfriends and job opportunities. Harry did know that it was inevitable that one day they would all leave, yet standing here now he wanted to break from the realness of it. Harry and his wife had joked over the years that they can’t wait for them to move out, yet the jokes were never reciprocated by any of their children besides the middle child, who Harry was certain, was extremely excited and grateful to be out of the house. </p><p>It didn’t ever reassure Harry that it was a joke, because the day would usually end with screaming matches that shook the house from volume and accumulated magic. Harry sighed; he never had really patched up the mess, called a relationship, with his son. He walked over to his chair, to collapse on like always, but he hesitated. His eyes roamed over all the chairs, longing to see all of his family sitting down at the table, except as the image of the mature adult children turned to the younger, dirtier and more innocent children.  </p><p>James was smacking his little six-year old hands on the surface of the table, smearing Lily’s baby goop. Meanwhile Lily was staring at fascination at him and her other brother, waving her little arms around. Albus was laughing and giggling with James, drawing little shapes in the food as if he was making a story with it. Ginny was desperately trying to clean up the mess that was spilling onto the floor (Padfoot was trying to lick it) and her failing- on the contrary instead of being mad, was laughing so hard she could barely hold herself upright. Harry was smiling and looking fondly at his family. </p><p>His family. The novelty still had not worn off even after eight years of a relationship, wedding and three kids later. </p><p>Harry stopped zoning out of space, as the fireplace lit up and out stepped Ginny Potter. Her silver-red hair was done in a low ponytail and her arms were hugged around her her hips tightly. She looked worse for wear; her face will still wet with dried tears and her eyes were red and swollen. </p><p>“They’re all gone.” She whispered. It was barely audible and Harry sighed sullenly and walked over to wrap his arms around her. </p><p>She started crying again, muffled sobs resounding in a sound of utter heartbreak. They stood there for either a few minutes or a few hours. Ginny finally pulled away and Harry held on a little reluctantly. She sniffed and took a look around, reminiscing. </p><p>Ginny was exhausted. Bags under her eyes, mused hair and smudged makeup from an interrupted evening. Harry wasn’t much better either with his askew glasses, even more dishevelled hair and his brow hurting from scrunching it up in concern. But the one thing that set them apart from their exhaustion was the extremely wide smiles that was painted onto their face.</p><p>Lily Luna Potter. A little baby girl with a tuft of red hair and brown eyes. Ginny’s brown eyes. She literally had just been born, and Harry could tell that she had a strong, fierce personality like her mother. She had cried for about five minutes then stared at her new parents. She scrunched up her little button nose, which Harry presumed, in confusion. </p><p>“Ready to meet your bothers?” Ginny whispered and tickled Lily’s little chin. Harry opened the door, and they stepped in. </p><p>Molly Weasley popped around the corner her face lit up with glee, and ran towards Ginny. She motioned for Ginny to give her the new addition to the family. Ginny rolled her eyes with a small smile- the novelty of having new grandchildren never wore off and Molly would act like she had received the sun and moon when she held her new grandchild. </p><p>Albus and James came running in, chased by an out of breath Arthur Weasley. </p><p>“MOMMY!” they yelled. </p><p>“SHH.” Ginny hissed aggressively. They all froze waiting for the new arrival to burst out in tears. Yet Lily continued to stare and a breath of relief resounded through the room. </p><p>“Boys you can’t be so loud! Her ears will have boo boos!” </p><p>James and Albus looked down guiltily, and when Lily made a cooing sound they both looked up with identical looks of curiosity. They padded to the baby and raised their tiny little hands to touch the blanket so the baby would rock forward for a better view. Molly tutted and lead the boys to the couch where they could sit together. After the boys had been positioned correctly, Molly carefully set the baby on the boy’s laps. In the midst of this, Harry was capturing the moment with his wand. </p><p>James looked down bewildered at his sister, not quite holding her with his hands in the air. It’s like he was too scared to hold this fragile bit of new life. Albus in the other hand was propping her head up on his tiny arms and caressing her face smiling tenderly. </p><p>The adults in the room were beaming happily at the sight before them. Ginny tapped on Harry’s shoulder. </p><p>“Harry are you catching this so we can put this in a frame?” </p><p>Harry nodded and grasped Ginny’s waist leaning his head on her shoulder. She leaned into the touch and they smiled at their children.  </p><p>Ginny once again, like all those years ago, was leaning into Harry’s arms. </p><p>“I miss them so much.” She muttered. </p><p>“I do too” Harry sighed. “Anything I can do to make you feel better?” </p><p>“No.” </p><p>“... want make another one?”</p><p>Ginny looked up at him half incredulous half hysteria.</p><p>“Babe I know your trying to make me feel better but now I’m thinking of how the kids would react to their almost fifty year old parents having another kid, or knowing that we still have sex.” </p><p>“Well I mean I thought we prepared them by being quote unquote James, “far too open and not being good at silencing charms.” </p><p>They bother smirked at each other before combusting into laughter, near hysteria. After around ten minutes Ginny pauses and brushed her hair forwards, a nervous habit. </p><p>“... Do you think we are bad parents?” </p><p>“Of course not! Our kids all turned out mentally stable, healthy and alive! That’s what I call good parenting.” He cracked another smile, leaning forward for another kiss and Ginny rolled her eyes before leaning into the kiss as well. </p><p>“They still can regularly come over and visit you know. We made that very clear to each of them when they left.” He chuckled</p><p>Ginny waited a heartbeat in silent mourning, because she knew that James and Lily would visit regularly, yet Albus would only come over to the Burrow during Christmas and sometimes Easter. Very rarely would you find Albus Potter coming over to their house purposefully. It was only when Scorpius forced him to. It stung still even though it had been two years. Harry didn’t seem too affected by the change but deep down it stung every time all the Potters were around besides Albus. The siblings didn’t seem to be too affected, since they were spoken less to then them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So as you can tell, this was about Ginny and Harry finishing the last leg of the race. Comprehending that they have finished their parental duty and reflected back on it, questioning parenting. I know shit about parenting but I do know about kids and teenagers so hopefully this sorta reflected what was shown through the Potter children in the book/fanfiction</p></blockquote></div></div>
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